Rodeo Houston

After enjoying a restful spring break in Orlando, I returned to Houston ready to put on my [proverbial] cowgirl boots and take in the Texan cultural phenomenon that is the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo.

Garrett, his parents, and I took the Metrorail (no horses available) down the street to Reliant Stadium. It was a first for everyone, and we were pleasantly surprised that no one ever checked our tickets. A knowledgeable Texan who rode frequently told us she had only been asked once before to show a ticket. We wondered how the city affords to run this form of public transportation. On this day we saw someone with a clicker counting the people getting off the train at Reliant, so maybe the Rodeo has to [pitch]fork over some moola later.

We first ventured to the building housing the Livestock Show. It was a huge convention hall featuring what seemed like hundreds of booths. Merchandise booths were selling hats, boots, belts, jackets, jewelry, horse trailers, pick-up trucks, spas, Texas-shaped waffle irons, boomerangs, and of course John Deere tractors.

Aliens were a recurring theme, with exhibits set up by both NASA and the Texas Border Patrol. Visitors could get their photo taken while sitting atop a real longhorn cow, or their handwriting analyzed by a machine that looked like it was created by Professor Frink of "The Simpsons."

The real highlight, though, was the livestock. And believe you me, you could smell 'em before you could see 'em! First we admired the cattle being vacuumed.

Then it was on to the rabbit showcase. The French Lop variety is as big as a dog! Yowzah!

Isn't it Easter on its way?

After we had had our fill of animals, consumer goods, and overpriced food, it was time to mosey on over to the stadium for the rodeo! 70,000 people filed in to be entertained. Lucky for us, the "Super Series Championship Round" takes place the last weekend of the rodeo. We saw the top ten cowboys in each of the rodeo's categories: tie-down roping, bareback riding, team roping, saddle bronc riding, steer wrestling, barrel racing, and bull riding. It was really impressive and really exciting! We had a good time trying to figure out the physics (how exactly does one ride a horse, rope a calf, and tie 3 of its legs in under 4 seconds?), the scoring of spurring techniques (some events are time-based, while others are graded "artistically"), and the insanity of it all (how can you not break your body riding a buckin' bull?). Because we were sitting so far up, I didn't get any good photos of the action, but I highly recommend visiting your local rodeo for a thrilling experience.

As the rodeo staff prepared the arena for the evening's concert, two youth events helped to pass the time. The first was the Calf Scramble, in which a group of calves was set loose, and young adolescents (Future Farmers of America) chased, tackled, and tied them. It reminded me of a day in the classroom.

Next was "Mutton Bustin'." This has to be, hands-down, the most entertaining thing I have ever witnessed. Unsuspecting children (aged 4-6) were dressed in helmets and padding, and then placed on excited sheep. As the sheep raced out of its cage, the plucky kiddo had to hold on for dear life and try to stay on! Watch an exciting YouTube video of it HERE.

The night ended with a performance by Brooks & Dunn. Brooks and his moustache had laryngitis, so long-haired Dunn took the lead, singing about trucks, girls, Jesus, America, and girls. I think Garrett's parents enjoyed the music more than we did, but Garrett and I were happy to recognize a couple songs at the end -- the hits "My Maria" and "Boot Scootin' Boogie" (ah! flashbacks to middle school country line dancing classes!). We were dazzled and slightly frightened by the indoor pyrotechnic display. Yeehaw!

That's what's new in Texas! And, oh yes, due to local construction, we now have a Porta Potty in our front yard! Now I feel like Bob Dylan. I'd write more -- but when you gotta go, you gotta go!